Beginnings and Endings

It’s the end of my old blog, Diary of a Sports Addict, and the beginning of my new blog, One Dollar Guns, where I will continue the emphasis on sports while adding more outside influence, and let my readers a little deeper into my scattered mind (beware).

The beginning and ending of a movie are the most important parts. A great beginning can buy your interest for a long time and a bad ending can make even the best stories seem pointless. Over the last few days we’ve seen some intriguing beginnings and some interesting endings. We’ve also seen a few beginnings of endings that could eventually become even more interesting (make sense?).

Celtic Died 

On Saturday night, the Celtics run as an Eastern Conference powerhouse under Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen likely came to an end when they lost to the Heat in game seven of the Eastern Conference Finals. The series between Boston and Miami was an epic back and forth battle from game one. When the Heat won the first two games, it was looking like a short series, but Boston struck back with amazing play from Rajon Rondo along with everything left in the tank from Pierce, Allen and Garnett, taking a 3-2 lead back to Boston.

But just when it was looking like the old timers (and Rondo) were making one more run at a ring, LeBron James turned on the afterburners and had one of the best games of his career, dominating the Celtics single-handedly in game six. The Heat then took care of business in game seven, soaring into the Finals for the second straight year in what many people think is the beginning of a multi-championship run. The only problem is the team they ran into has similar goals in mind and possibly an even brighter future ahead (more on that later). 

Misjudged Manny

Immediately following the end of the Eastern Conference Finals was the end of Manny Pacquiao’s seven year unbeaten streak in quite possibly the worst decision in boxing history (besides maybe the decision of paying $65 for a pay-per-view fight).

Pacquiao had his way with Timothy Bradley for 12 rounds, doing everything except knock his opponent out, but the judges somehow scored the fight in favor of Bradley. I can’t take any credit away from Bradley. He fought hard and never ran. Although that may been due to the strained and pulled ligaments in both feet he suffered in early rounds…

But Manny Pacquiao clearly won the fight, and any chimp with half a brain and one eye could tell you that. But it seems the WBO hired three chimps with no brains and no eyes to judge this fight and just like boxing always does, they found a way to screw it up. 

Many boxing fans (or at least all four of us) fear that the hope of a Manny Pacquiao vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. fight is fading away. Mayweather is in the early stages of an 87-day jail sentence for attacking his ex-girlfriend in front of their children (class act), and apparently his incredible fitness is already deteriorating.

Meanwhile, Manny just lost (technically), for the first time since 2005. Pacquiao is 33 and Mayweather is 35. These young men are becoming old men and starting to seem a lot less invincible than they did a few years ago. My confidence in this fight happening has gone from about 75%-20% over the last year. My interest has gone from 100%-50% at best. Unfortunately, it’s hard to imagine anything saving the sad state of a sport that once played a proud, significant role in American culture and history.

Mad End

On Sunday, another great season of Mad Men came to an end, leaving the audience hanging as to whether the recently monogamous advertising guru, Don Draper, would start respecting his wife and her new career path, or go back to his old scandalous ways.

After four great seasons, one could assume the writers and producers of Mad Men would start running out of ideas. But Sterling Cooper Draper Price came back stronger than ever with a dark, heavy fifth season full of alcoholism, fist fights, suicide, and plenty of good old-fashion sexism and adultery (if you’re in to that sort of thing).

There are few criticisms to dish out to Mad Men. It is the most flawless show on TV, never leaving you rolling your eyes at the over the top plotlines and corny, snappy dialogue that many shows force down our throats. Some people will say the show is too sexist, but I think it is accurately depicting a sexist group of people in a sexist era. Criticizing Mad Men for being sexist is like criticizing Roots for being racist.

King’s Cup

For those of you who aren’t familiar with the reference, King’s Cup is a game played in college that involves a deck of cards, a giant bowl full of beer and a lot of vomiting.

Back to sports; on Monday night, the NHL season came to an end when the Kings took out the Devils in six games in front of a rowdy home crowd at the Staples Center to win their first ever Stanley Cup. The Kings snuck into the playoffs as an eight-seed, then quickly turned into the favorite to win it all after they dominated the Canucks and Blues in the first two rounds.

The Kings went up 3-0 in every series, but the finals got a little dicey when the Devils won games four and five turning it into a competitive series. But in game six in Los Angeles the Kings looked dominate again, crushing the Devils 6-1 behind great all-around play by Dustin Brown and shutdown goaltending by Jonathan Quick, the two guys that carried them all throughout the playoffs.

It was nice to see a champion other than the Lakers at Staples for once. The Kings are young, tough, confident, and they have the best goalie in the game. All this talent finally started to come together when the playoffs began. This was the first Stanley Cup in Kings history, but the second could be close behind… As a lifelong Red Wings fan living in L.A., it really pains me to say that…

The Beginning of the End

The NBA Finals began Tuesday night, and the Beginning of the Beginning would be a more accurate title, since this could be the first of several times the Heat and Thunder meet in an intense weather related battle for a title. Miami found themselves outmatched against a younger, faster, deeper, hungrier Oklahoma City squad that had home court on their side in the loudest stadium in basketball.

It started well for the Heat, who got on the massive shoulders of LeBron James and took a 13-point lead in the first half. But the Thunder went on one of their patented second half runs, looking like the nearly unbeatable team they’ve been throughout the playoffs and won the game 105-94 with an incredible performance by Kevin Durant.

I’ve been picking the Thunder to win it all since before the season started.  Some people seem to interpret that as disrespecting LeBron James and Dwayne Wade or misunderstanding the magnitude of the two of them playing with Chris Bosh. But just like the blind, brainless chimps that judged the Pacquiao fight, those people are wrong.

It doesn’t come down to LeBron vs. Durant or Wade vs. Westbrook. The Thunder are simply the better basketball team. They have much better role players and guys who can affect the game without scoring like Kendrick Perkins, Serge Ibaka and Thabo Sefolosha. On top of that, their pieces just seem fit together better. 

Now before all of the Thunder-pickers out there get carried away (myself included), we must remember, they’ve only won one game. One game is all it takes to change everything you think about an NBA playoff series. If the Heat win game two, they’ll be heading back to Miami with all the momentum on their side. And just like this series, this is only the beginning for two great young teams that could face each other in the finals many more times. 

The great thing about basketball as opposed to boxing is the best opponents actually have to face each other, and the points are scored when the players put the ball in the basket, not when blind brainless chimps write a random number on a card. Now that’s what I call a great ending!

Detroit Bias

Detroit’s magical sports run came to somewhat of a halt last weekend, as the Tigers were eliminated from the MLB playoffs and the Lions suffered their first loss of the season. Regardless, the Tigers had a great run and the Lions are still sitting pretty with a 5-1 record. Both teams have very bright futures ahead. Not to mention the Red Wings are off to a 4-0 start and looking ready to make another run at the Stanley Cup. Yes, things are looking up for Detroit sports.

Detroit’s epic sports week kicked off with the Lions feasting on the Bears in their first Monday Night Football appearance in ten years. Ndamukong Suh and the Lions dominant defensive line sacked Jay Cutler three times and had him running for dear life all night.

Detroit ran away with the game with big plays from Jahvid Best and Calvin Johnson, turning the full house at Ford Field to its highest decibel. The Lions improved to a 5-0 start for the first time since 1956. Most importantly, they got the Motor City momentum rolling as the Tigers were coming back in town after dropping the first two games of the ALCS to the Rangers.

The Tigers fed off the mojo, winning two out of three games at Comerica Park, cutting the Rangers lead to 3-2 and sending the series back to Arlington. In the end, Nelson Cruz and the Texas bats were too much, but the Tigers put up a great fight in a very exciting series and kept the good vibes rocking in Motown.

Some of Detroit’s biggest stars were on hand for the events. Lions legend Barry Sanders was part of the Monday Night Football intro and came out for the coin toss. The Tigers showcased a variety of national anthem performances by some of Motown’s finest: Aretha Franklin, the Four Tops, and Bob Seger!(‘s saxophonist Alto Reed). There’s no way Alto Reed is that guy’s real name… that’s like my name being Writer Sports.

The Michigan action didn’t stop in the Detroit. Ninety miles west, in East Lansing, Michigan State took out the undefeated Michigan Wolverines on Saturday in one of the mid-west’s biggest college football rivalries. The Spartans defense completely shut down Denard Robinson and Michigan’s high voltage offense. Despite losing to MSU once again, Michigan seems to be inching closer and closer to getting back to their dominant ways under head coach Brady Hoke. And Michigan State seems to be inching closer and closer to actually winning a big ten title.

The Lions undefeated season also came to an end, at the hands of a viscous 49ers defense and running game on Sunday. While the Lions Super Bowl bandwagon certainly busted a wheel, at least head coach Jim Schwartz proved he won’t take crap from anyone.

Regardless how tough their coach is, the Lions can’t afford to drop many of their next four winnable games, if any. The last six games on their schedule include two against the Packers, road games in New Orleans and Oakland, and a home game against the Chargers, who are always dangerous late in the year. The time is now for the Lions to bounce back. With the Tigers out, the city of Detroit depends on it!

As many of you know, I am originally from the Detroit area. I grew up cheering for the Lions and Tigers as well as the Red Wings and Pistons. I moved to Chicago in ’03, then moved to Los Angeles about a year ago, but no matter how long I live away from home, I’ll always cheer for the teams from Detroit.

I get phone calls and text messages from friends and family in Michigan excited about the Tigers. I go to sports bars in L.A. with a Lions shirt on and make friends with strangers with Detroit roots. These things make me feel closer to home and proud to show people where I come from. If anything, living away from Michigan has made me a bigger fan of Detroit teams.

Detroit sports have had some success with the Red Wings remaining a dominant force in hockey since the 90’s and the Pistons coming up with a few great championship runs of their own. But from the late 80’s until 2005, the Tigers were quite possibly the worst franchise in baseball. And ever since the dawn of man, the Detroit Lions have been almost definitely the worst franchise in the history of sports. And as great as it was to see the Red Wings and Pistons win championships, nothing excites and unites a city like a Super Bowl or World Series run. Not in America at least. Except for maybe a revolution against Wall Street, but that’s a different story all together.

I’ve been a fan of the Lions and Tigers for about 20 years, and for the most part it has never paid off. Twenty years of investing my time and emotions in something that has pretty much never rewarded me. That’s like spending your entire life chasing a girl who always takes advantage of you and never respects you. At some point, you’d think I’d just give up.

But if you give up on your teams, you don’t get to enjoy the moments when it finally pays off to be a fan. If you don’t let your emotions go so far as a sports fan that you get crushed when your team loses, you can’t possibly get the same thrill when they finally win.

To someone that’s as passionate of a sports fan as I am, last week was almost too emotionally overwhelming to handle. There were ups and downs, and eventually the Tigers season ended and the Lions got beat. But for once, it felt cool to be a Lions fan and Tigers fan in the same week.

No Money Down

A lot of controversy has brewed up since the upsetting finish to Saturday’s big title fight between Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. and Victor Ortiz, who is yet to earn a significant nickname. Controversy tends to follow the hard to like yet oddly entertaining specimen that is Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. but in this case it was certainly not warranted.

For those of you who don’t know how it went down: After an uneventful first two rounds, Mayweather dominated the third and fourth, landing punches at will. Suddenly in the late fourth round, Ortiz jabbed Mayweather into the ropes and had a chance to do some damage, but instead lunged at Mayweather with a blatantly intentional headbutt. It was unclear how well he caught Floyd with his forehead, but he sure did piss him off.

When the ref resumed the fight, Ortiz went to hug Mayweather to make up, but Money was not having it. Mayweather looked aggressive and eager to take out the guy who just did him wrong. He nodded his head, as if to say, “we’re good, let’s fight”.

Still, Ortiz was determined to get his hug, but Mayweather tapped his gloves and put his fists up. After having his hug attempt rejected, Ortiz stood in front of Mayweather for a second or two and left his hands down. Mayweather waited a very short moment for Victor to protect himself, but instead Ortiz kept him arms down at his waist, Mayweather landed his hardest left-right combination and Ortiz was down for the count.

To the untrained eye, this looks really bad for Mayweather, who has a bad rep outside the ring, but has never been labeled a dirty fighter in any way. But to the eye that has brains (as Homer Simpson once put it), Ortiz did everything wrong, throwing a dirty headbutt, then leaving himself unprotected, and Mayweather did everything right, fighting hard and fighting smart from the start, and continuing the box until his opponent was knocked out.

Think about it from Mayweather’s perspective: He has an undefeated record to protect that he is very proud of (now 42-0). He’s one of the two best and most famous boxers in the world, while no one who doesn’t have HBO to watch 24/7 knew what Victor Ortiz looked like until Saturday night. Also, Mayweather doesn’t do things like headbutt his opponent while he’s in the corner, or try to unofficially pause the match to hug the guy he just headbutted. He boxes, and he boxes hard until he beats his opponent. He’s done it 42 times and the last was no exception. If Ortiz had really been eager to continue fighting Mayweather, he would have done so instead of headbutting and hugging him.

Even after Ortiz survived his knockout, he was still smiling at Floyd and trying to hug him again and he didn’t seem to have any complaints about the fight. It was as if he was saying “I’m just proud to have been in the ring with you.”

Some people will tell you that headbutting happens in boxing matches. But this was no Evander Holyfield, hands close to the head, getting in tight, willing but not trying headbutt. This was a full on arms down, headfirst lunge to the face, a much less frequent occurrence. A boxer getting knocked down while trying to hug his opponent is even less frequent, but I think that’s because most guys settle for a simple glove tap before resuming the fight and never stand in front of their opponent with their hands down.

What was Ortiz doing trying to hug Money anyways? If he’s going to take a cheap shot and try to phase Mayweather, sacrificing a point in the process, I would think he would do it to try to get in his head (no pun intended). When a pitcher gives a hitter a little chin music to send a message, he doesn’t pause the game and go to hug the hitter and apologize. He puts his glove out to get the ball back, looks the hitter in the eye with a straight face, and gets set to throw his next pitch.

Floyd came to fight, Victor came to hug and kiss. Floyd dominated the fight while it lasted, and headbutting in a boxing match is a lot dirtier than boxing in a boxing match. Victor, keep your fists up and do your job. Always put your money on Money.

What we've all been waiting for...

Me and every other boxing fan in America (all nine of us) want to think Mayweather’s return means we’ll soon see the much anticipated mega-fight between Mayweather and great boxer turned terrible singer, Manny Pacquiao. Last March I placed the majority of the blame on Team Pacquiao for ducking the fight when Pac refused to draw blood in Mayweather’s effort to make sure the boxing was clean. While I’ll admit it was a bit of a slippery move by Mayweather, I do think he was willing to fight Pac at the time, and I do think he had some reason to believe that Pac was dirty. By allowing his blood to be tested before the fight, He could have proven Mayweather wrong and sealed up the fight of the decade.

A lot has gone down since then; when Money was ready Pac backed out, when Pac was ready, Money backed out. Both camps have to take some responsibility for avoiding this fight. But behind all of the dodging and finger-pointing, I think both sides have been intentionally dragging this out as much as possible to make this fight even more epic and bring in even more viewers and money. That was cute for a while, but it has been so long, if it doesn’t happen soon, it will lose its gusto. My concern is that the two best boxers in the world won’t fight until they are both past their prime, or one of them loses to a lesser fighter who caught them with a lucky punch, taking away the allure of two boxers who can’t lose to anyone else.

Pacquiao has a rematch with Juan Manuel Marquez on November 12, which I expect him to win. I also expect Mayweather to schedule one more fight shortly after November 12, potentially leading to an early 2012 fight with Pacquiao.

If these guys don’t get together after their next match, it’ll be pretty clear that they just don’t want to, which would be a devastating blow to a sport that is already struggling to survive.

Whether they like it or not, the future of boxing is in the hands Floyd Joy Mayweather Jr. and Emmanuel Dapidran Pacquiao. They are responsible to give the fans what they want and bring the excitement back to the sport that has made them very rich and successful. Get in the ring guys. If you’re not going to do it for your own legacies, or your own bank account, do it for the sport of boxing and the fans that are the reason Floyd Mayweather Jr. is “Philthy Rich” and Manny Pacquiao has a seat in congress in the Phillipines.

Unlock the Mayhem

After spending the last few months watching players and owners bluff at the media in an attempt to make the other side and the fans fear that the 2011 NFL season was actually in danger, the lockout came to end last week. Just when it was getting exciting… too bad… The end of the lockout marked the beginning of an unprecedented frenzy of trades and free agent signings.

It would be impossible for me to discuss all the moves that went down without writing an epic novel (and trust me, I considered that), but three teams who were already Super Bowl contenders added some huge names including one that’s really hard to spell, and another that’s been changed for novelty purposes. The moves made by the Eagles, Patriots, and Jets could potentially get them over the hump, and if nothing else it will make them a lot more fun to follow.

Eagles get Asomugha

The Eagles landed the biggest free agent who no one’s seen play and whose name none of us can pronounce, shutdown cornerback Nnamdi Asomugha. This was a major surprise, as just moments before the signing various reports indicated that it was almost certain Asomugha would end up on the Cowboys or Jets. But you know what they say, when you assume, you make an Asomugha out of you and me… something like that…

The signing came just one day after the Eagles traded backup quarterback Kevin Kolb to the Cardinals, landing another pro-bowl cornerback, Dominique Rogers-Cromartie. It’s safe to say it will be tough to pass against Philly’s D this year.

The scaring thing is, the Eagles would have been a Super Bowl contender even if the didn’t make any major additions. With the fastest, most dynamic offensive roster in the NFL gaining a little more experience together, and a defense that has improved ten-fold, fans and analysts are starting to call them “the Dream Team”. I know, it’s a very original and creative nickname. Almost as clever as applying “the big three” to every NBA team that has three star players.

But with Michael Vick running the team, who’s style of play gets him injured on a yearly basis, and DeSean Jackson starting to get carried away with his attention craving, diva attitude, will the pieces fall apart in Philly this year? No roster in the NFL has more talent than the Eagles, but do they have the maturity and discipline to stay focused on a Super Bowl run? Only time will tell.

Coming into this season, the Eagles and Packers have to be considered the top two teams in the NFC, and I’d be somewhat surprised if one of those teams isn’t in the Super Bowl. Then again, the NFL surprises me quite a bit.

Patriots get risky

Despite his old school, all business nature, Bill Belichick proved he’s willing to give talented veterans a second chance to redeem their damaged reputations when he embraced New England’s trade for Randy Moss in ‘07. The Patriots took this to the next level last week, trading for attention-craving, self-promoting, cheerleader-proposing, river-dancing, name-changing wide receiver, Chad Ochocinco.

The Patriots also acquired the extremely overpaid, underachieving defensive tackle, Albert Haynesworth. On the surface it’s easy to mark these moves off as desperate, but you can never underestimate what a second chance on a well-disciplined successful team can do for talented vets trying to prove they can be winners. And no matter what issues can be seen in their roster, Belichick and Tom Brady always keep the Patriots in the hunt.

While I’ve always thought Chad Ochocinco was a little overrated and his antics can go way too far, he’s without a doubt very talented, entertaining and hilarious. He’s also a hard worker who’s always in great shape. Despite the risk he brings to the clubhouse and sometimes the field, he never gets in trouble for anything in his personal life, staying away from drugs, alcohol and partying. He has shown us that his image can be more important to him than his teams success, but I think he’s ready to put a little bit of the Ochocinco sideshow on hold to prove that he can be a team player and a winner.

Ochocinco can’t be blamed for all of his problems in Cincinnati. He spent his entire career playing for the Bengals, so he’s ever been on a well-disciplined team with a history of winning. I expect Ocho and Brady to get clicking early and often. They'll both put up big numbers, and the Pats will once again be Super Bowl contenders.

I don’t expect Haynesworth to have as big of an impact as Ochocinco, nor do I expect him to resurrect the skills he displayed in Tennessee, but if he can just be a solid contributor and disrupt opposing running games, he’ll be worth the risk. He doesn’t need to be the best in league, he doesn’t even need to be a pro-bowler. He simply needs to be a football player. He was never able to do that in D.C., but just like Ochocinco, he’s a talented veteran with a chance to repair his image. He has a great team around him and the best coach in the business. He knows if he can’t do it here, he’s history.

Jets think Plax is worth a shot

Last week, the Jets decided to let go of wide receiver Braylon Edwards, who was just nailed with his second DWI in less than two years and topped it off with his alleged involvement in a bar fight in Birmingham, MI last Monday that ended with his cousins stabbing bouncers with pocket knives and forks. I guess they decided to go with the more stable Plaxico Burress, who just got out of the can for carrying an unlicensed gun in his sweatpants in a New York City nightclub that he accidentally fired, shooting himself in the right thigh.

The Jets took a page from the Eagles book by taking a risk on a former pro-bowler straight out of prison that was once one of the elite talents at his position. Much like Michael Vick, no one really knows what Burress is going to bring to the table, but these situations are always better when the player is on a great team with good chemistry and a respected coach (broken record, I know). Plus, Burress won’t have a lot of pressure on him since the Jets have several offensive weapons and Santanio Holmes has clearly established himself as Mark Sanchez’ favorite target.

Still, it’s best for Jets head coach, Rex Ryan, to establish a few ground rules for Plax:

1. Stay out of nightclubs in New York. Like many football players, they have landed him in a lot of trouble.

2. No sweatpants outside of practice. I’m no fashion critic, but I don’t understand why any rich celebrity in his early 30’s would wear sweatpants to a nightclub in the first place. I guess when you’re a pro athlete with money you don’t have to abide by standard dress codes to get into clubs and score chicks as long as you don’t shoot yourself. Which brings me to rule #3:

3. Don’t shoot yourself. In fact, no shooting at all. Actually, lets just keep the guns out of Plax’s hands and sweatpants all together.

The Results

Regardless how well these new additions perform, the Patriots, Jets and Eagles should all be among the best teams in the NFL in 2011. But their contributions could be the difference between getting ousted in the first round of the playoffs and hoisting the Lombardi trophy in February. Either way, we know we’re getting football this year. If only the NBA can get their act together in the next three months I’ll be a happy sports addict.

Respect the Basebots: Redux

Last May, I warned baseball fans everywhere about the inevitable robot takeover of our national pastime. Now, for the first time ever, a robot has been allowed on to the field of play to throw the first pitch.

The PhillieBot was created by Jordan Brindza, a University of Pennsylvania student who plans to ruin American sports and eventually take over the world with his army of evil robots. It was the opening attraction as the Phillies hosted the Brewers this afternoon, and quite frankly, it didn’t have its stuff. The PhillieBot bounced the pitch to the Phillie Fanatic, garnering boos from the notoriously vicious Phillie’s fans, who apparently have a higher standard for baseball playing robots.Phillie’s pitcher, Cliff Lee, took the field in fear, knowing this could be the last time his team needs him before his job is rendering obsolete by advanced technology.

The robot baseball takeover has been a threat since the early 90’s. And like most serious issues, I was ahead of the curb on it. Please revisit my blog from last May. Take this issue seriously, but most importantly:

Respect the Basebots

(May 22, 2010)

Nolan Ryan has recently expressed his problems with the current treatment of pitchers, from high school all the way to the majors. Managers telling pitchers what to throw and pulling them out of games strictly because of a pitch count are both traits of what he calls “robot baseball”. During a Cubs vs. Pirates broadcast last weekend Bob Brenly also acknowledged this when he said, “the game is not played by robots.” Not yet at least.

Gamers Ahead of the Game

Bob Brenly must have forgotten about Base Wars, a Nintendo game released in 1991 where baseball was played by robots. Set in the 24th century, Base Wars operates on the premise that managers have grown tired of player salaries and fans have grown tired of human competition, so replacing current players with robots was inevitable. Its good to know that in 300 years, we will have survived global warming to create the greatest achievement man could ever hope for: baseball-playing robots. If you didn’t want to save our planet before, you have to now.

Base Wars doesn’t just feature robots, it features cyborgs, flybots, tanks, and mycycles that fight in a tag out situations for the right to be safe on base. Since there are no force-outs in Base Wars, fighting is very common. Robots also lose power by getting hit by pitches and losing fights, if this power gets too low one more bean ball will destroy the robot by explosion leaving it’s team shorthanded. Best of all, if three robots on one team are blow to pieces that team is disqualified, making it possible to win a game by outfighting and beaning the opposing team regardless of what’s on the scoreboard.

Two years later, Super Nintendo released Super Baseball 2020 with the gained optimism that it would take just under 30 years to build baseball-playing robots, rather just over three centuries. Super Baseball 2020 also added the political correctness of humans and robots playing baseball alongside each other, often even teammates. Because when these basebots finally arrive in the Major Leagues, they won’t necessarily be any better than humans currently playing the game.

Visions to Reality

Dreams of robot baseball players didn’t stop in early 90s Nintendo games. In 2005 Frank Barnes of Robocross built “The Headless Batter”, seen in this video hitting baseballs out of high speed pitching machine.

Scientists at Tokyo University Developed a pair of robots, one a humanoid arm that can mimic the motion of a pitcher, the other a bat with a laser eye that can see the pitch and hit it to precise locations.

This Japanese Robot can actually nod the catcher’s decision, mimic the windup of a major league pitcher and follow through. He’s still working on his gyro ball.

Robocalypse Now

If Nolan Ryan cant handle metaphorical robot baseball, how will he feel when the game he loves is actually being played by robots? While Super Baseball 2020 suggests that humans and robots can achieve baseball unity, it could really just be the transition period until robot technology and artificial intelligence improves and robots take over baseball entirely in early-to-mid 2300s, in a much more violent version of the game wherein they are treated much like Roman Gladiators forced to battle to the death while humans cheer from the stands.

When robots take over baseball, it’s only a matter of time until they take over America and eventually the world. A robot Jackie Robinson may seem progressive, but a robot Barack Obama is something we might not be ready for, especially when Republicans find out he was programmed in Tokyo.

Its inevitable that over time the robot’s intelligence will grow and they will learn human emotions and realize that they are being sacrificed for our entertainment with no compensation. The baseball robots will become angry and aim to destroy the human race and the sports fans will be the first to go!

If we continue to pursue the ultimate American and Japanese dream of the baseball playing robot, we must prepare ourselves to accept them and appreciate them in a way that will not drive them to overthrow the human race and destroy the world. Respect the basebots. If we force them into our human sports, then we must also give them human rights and treat them as equals. Baseball is America’s pastime, but robot baseball is America’s future.

One

One love. One heart. One is the loneliest number. One more time. One. It’s not just a number used in classic songs. And no, it’s not the number of people following my blog. It’s the number that tells the story of the first weekend of the NBA playoffs.

One game in the books.

One player put his team on his shoulders and single-handedly upset the defending champs (Chris Paul). If there’s one position the Lakers have trouble defending, it’s the one. That worked once, but it’s going to take more than one guy to beat them in a seven game series.

One game was all it took for Zach Randolph to show the world just how good he really is. One team will probably be paying the number one free agent a lot of money this summer.

One shot that Richard Jefferson just couldn’t make to prevent the number one seed in the West from dropping game one. One player the Spurs can’t afford to go one more game without (Manu Ginobli).

One series the Mavs will win before falling to the first legit contender they run into, as usual.

One player on the Magic that’s doing his job (Dwight Howard), and they’re going to need at least one more to beat the Hawks.

One more game-winning shot for Ray Allen. One more reason to question Carmelo’s ability to finish games.

One more ring is all Shaq wants before he’s ready to hang it up. If he can play for just one minute and make one play, maybe I’ll believe he can help make that happen.

One surprisingly big game for Jermaine O’Neal. The Celtics are going to need at least one O’Neal on the court. Shaquille or Jermaine, either one.

One more role player Miami needs to heat up if they want to hang with Boston and Chicago. I’m not too sure any of their guys are the one to do it.

One more reason Derrick Rose is the MVP as number one pushed the Bulls one game closer to the ultimate goal.

One more year until the Knicks and Thunder are serious championship contenders. The one in the West can do some damage this year, but there’s one team they won’t be able to beat.

One more chance for more than one aging team to win one more title before the next generation takes over. But despite what went down in just one weekend of the NBA playoffs, Kobe, Phil and the Lakers have one more ring in them before they’re ready to let that happen.

Do the Math

For the Lakers, Celtics, Spurs, and to a lesser extent, the Mavs, this could be the last opportunity to make one more run at improving the old trophy case. Don’t get me wrong, they’ll all be good teams next year, but I don’t expect to see any of them in the 2012 NBA Finals. Teams like the Bulls, Heat, Thunder, Knicks and even Clippers have talented youth ready to carry them through the next few years.

But lets put the past and future aside and live in the now. These are the four teams that have a shot at winning it all this year:

Celtics

When the season started, the Celtics were my pick to come out of the East and possibly even win it all. But that all changed when they traded Perkins and began to lose their swagger. The Celtics without Perkins is like the guy from Saw without all of his gadgets: Not nearly as scary!

Sure Perkins wasn’t their best player, but he was certainly their meanest. He was their only guy who could muscle up with the likes of Andrew Bynum and Joakim Noah, who are now two reasons I don’t think the Celtics are the favorite to win the East, let alone the NBA title. Still, as long as they have Pierce, Garnett, Allen and Rondo on the court, you can’t count them out.

Heat

As incredible as LeBron James and Dwayne Wade are, and as mediocre as Chris Bosh is, I struggle to see Miami beating a much deeper, more experienced Boston team with much more chemistry. On the flip side, we haven’t seen them in big playoff games, so it’s hard to put a limit on what LeBron and Wade are capable of when the big moments come.

Those three guys alone will give them a chance, but they aren’t getting help from anyone else. I just don’t think they have enough pieces to hang with the top contenders. They remind me of a restaurant with the best steak in town, but the appetizers are crappy and the wine list is weak. Everyone wants to go there, so its crowded and there's a two hour wait, not to mention the service sucks. At the end of the day, is the steak really worth it?

Bulls

Coming into the season, the Bulls were the overlooked team in the East, with a rising megastar in Derrick Rose and the addition of Carlos Boozer to pair up with Joakim Noah and make quite possibly the best frontcourt duo in the NBA. Despite Boozer missing the beginning of the year, then Noah missing the middle of the year, the Bulls record remained among the best in the league for the core of the season.

The Bulls have the chemistry of a team that’s been together for years, but the fresh legs and intensity of the young players they are. They can match up player-for-player with any team in the NBA and the other teams in the East just cant handle their size and still slow down Rose. I didn’t think I’d be saying this before the season started, but I expect to see the Bulls in the Finals and I wouldn’t be shocked if they won the whole damn thing.

Lakers

The Lakers are the most over-scrutinized team in sports, especially if you live in Los Angeles. Every time they lose three in a row, they’re too old, they don’t care anymore and they need to trade the whole team (or at least Ron Artest). Then when they win five in a row they’re clearly the best team in NBA on their road to another easy championship and every player on the team deserves a trophy outside of Staples (except for Ron Artest).

Regardless what NBA media and fans have said about the Lakers, I still see the same team that won last year with a much improved and matured Andrew Bynum. It does seem like they’ve needed to push all their chips in for one last run and it certainly could be their last, but I still cant help but consider them the favorite to win it all this year.

Final Seconds

No one in the West can beat the Lakers. Oklahoma City is another year away and we’ve seen what happens when the Lakers play the Spurs in the playoffs. The Spurs kept their big three healthy for the first time in years, only to lose Ginobli with an elbow injury once the playoffs start. Same story, too old, too injured, and they just don’t have the gusto to beat the league’s best in the playoffs anymore.

As for the East, the Heat would have a better chance at beating the Bulls than the Celtics because the intimidation factor they might still hold over a young Bulls team just wont exist against the Celtics. That said, the Heat won’t get to play the Bulls, because they won’t beat the Celtics and I don’t think the Celtics can beat the Bulls (make sense?). The Bulls are a younger, more athletic version of the Celtics, and without Perkins, Boston has no one to match the nasty of Joakim Noah (and that’s a whole lot of nasty).

NBA Finals: Lakers over Bulls

Ode to Super Bowl Sunday - Crystal Football

To my brethren who struggle to get through the six days a week that wearing a jersey is deemed socially unacceptable, this is your holiday…

To everyone who believes that the holiest place to be on a Sunday is a sports bar with NFL Sunday Ticket and multiple flat screens TVs, this is your holiday…

To my coworkers who preemptively called in sick the following Monday anticipating a hangover and a lack of sleep, this is your holiday…

To the genuine lovers of the game who cringe when they hear someone say, “I’m really just watching it for the commercials,” this is your holiday…

To the gambling men who spent their last five dollars on the hope that the randomly assigned numbers in their square will match the final score, this is your holiday…

To the early birds who consider sitting in a giant cold parking lot and drinking beer with men they hardly know an ideal way to start a Sunday morning, this is your holiday…

To the impatient fans who think two weeks is way too long to wait for the greatest game of the year, this is your holiday…

To the savvy shoppers who plan on trying to return their new HDTV at full price after only one use, this is your holiday…

To the overconfident couch potatoes who could do a better job coaching their team than the “bum” who currently gets paid millions to, this is your holiday…

To the loyal viewers who think four and a half hours of pregame just isn’t quite enough coverage, this is your holiday…

To the hungry men who have changed their diets for their ladies, but promise today there will be no fruits or vegetables! This is your holiday!

Raise your glasses sports fans. Today young men will become great men and great men will become legendary. This is Super Bowl Sunday, and this is our holiday!

Sports Addict Prediction: Packers 27, Steelers 23

Although I was originally going with Black and Yellow and have been considering them my favorite to win the Super Bowl for most of the season, the more I evaluate this game, the more I think the Packers have the slight edge. I do think both of these defenses will play very well, but I think the game will still be fairly high scoring due to a few turnovers, and a few big plays on offense.

Crystal Football

I’m seeing two touchdowns coming from defense and special teams. The Steelers will have more success running the ball than the Packers, but will struggle to move the ball in the air. When you’re dealing with the likes of Clay Matthews and B.J. Raji up front and Charles Woodson and Tramon Williams in the secondary, you don’t want to have to worry about the beat up offensive line the Steelers will be playing with. Big Ben will have his moments, most likely including one long TD pass to Mike Wallace, but I don’t see them developing a consistent passing game.

If the Packers’ don’t have the best defense in the league, than the Steelers definitely do. Regardless, it seems like Aaron Rodgers can tear up any D right now, especially when he’s playing indoors. The running game will be spotty, but I think they can get it rolling just enough to keep the Steelers’ defense honest. When it all boils down to it, the Pack have a better chance at putting together that big game winning drive late in the fourth quarter, and that’s how I see this game being won.

Players to watch

Everyone knows about Ben Roethlisberger and Troy Polamalu as well as Aaron Rodgers and Clay Matthews, but those guys do what they do pretty much every game. Here are a few of the other guys whose performance could decide who gets the new jewelry.

Steelers

Hines Ward

I mentioned before that I expect at least one big play from Mike Wallace, but much of that will depend on Hines Ward doing the little gritty things he does best; grabbing terrifying passes over the middle in front of James Harrison and Troy Polamalu and sticking the Steelers with a few of those big statement blocks that he’s become known for. Word is on the street that this could be Ward’s final NFL game. If that’s the case, he’ll want to go out with a bang… BANG! Just making sure you’re still with me.

Ike Taylor and Brian McFadden

The Steelers have quite possibly the best safety tandem in the NFL with Troy Polamalu and Ryan Clark, but if there’s any weakness in their defense, it’s their cornerbacks allowing big pass plays. When you’re playing against Aaron Rodgers and company that can be a big problem. James Harrison and the rest of the Steelers front seven will be able to get pressure on Rodgers from time to time, but to really neutralize the Packers’ air attack, Taylor and McFadden will have to play like their counter parts: Charles Woodson and Tramon Williams.

Packers

James Starks

The Packers running game was nonexistent most of the year after an ankle injury knocked primary ball carrier Ryan Grant out of commission. Late in the season, undrafted rookie James Starks got off and running just enough to open things up for Aaron Rodgers and the passing game to pick apart opposing defenses. Starks has been their go-to back throughout the playoffs. If he can handle the biggest stage in American sports and give Green Bay a legitimate ground game against a defense that take pride in shutting down even the very best running backs, the Packers offense will be nearly impossible to stop.

B.J. Raji

Raji isn’t exactly under the radar after displaying his agility in the NFC Championship game with an interception return for a touchdown, capped off a celebratory dance that will never be forgotten. But I guess when you’re 340 pounds, you show up on pretty much every radar. With Steelers Pro-Bowl center Maurkice Pouncey out of the game with an ankle injury, the Packer’s are relying on their baby-faced big man winning the battle in the middle and slowing down the Steelers running game led by the red hot Rashard Mendenhall. B.J. got his respect from Packers fans after his massive performance against the Bears, but another Raji-sized game would cement him in Packers history... Better bring the whole truck; we’re going to need a lot of cement for this one.