Respect the Basebots

Nolan Ryan has recently expressed his problems with the current treatment of pitchers, from high school all the way to the majors. Managers telling pitchers what to throw and pulling them out of games strictly because of a pitch count are both traits of what he calls “robot baseball”. During a Cubs vs. Pirates broadcast last weekend Bob Brenly also acknowledged this when he said, “the game is not played by robots.” Not yet at least.

Gamers Ahead of the Game

Bob Brenly must have forgotten about Base Wars, a Nintendo game released in 1991 where baseball was played by robots. Set in the 24th century, Base Wars operates on the premise that managers have grown tired of player salaries and fans have grown tired of human competition, so replacing current players with robots was inevitable. Its good to know that in 300 years, we will have survived global warming to create the greatest achievement man could ever hope for: baseball-playing robots. If you didn’t want to save our planet before, you have to now.

Base Wars doesn’t just feature robots, it features cyborgs, flybots, tanks, and mycycles that fight in a tag out situations for the right to be safe on base. Since there are no force-outs in Base Wars, fighting is very common. Robots also lose power by getting hit by pitches and losing fights, if this power gets too low one more bean ball will destroy the robot by explosion leaving it’s team shorthanded. Best of all, if three robots on one team are blow to pieces that team is disqualified, making it possible to win a game by outfighting and beaning the opposing team regardless of what’s on the scoreboard.

Two years later, Super Nintendo released Super Baseball 2020 with the gained optimism that it would take just under 30 years to build baseball-playing robots, rather just over three centuries. Super Baseball 2020 also added the political correctness of humans and robots playing baseball alongside each other, often even teammates. Because when these basebots finally arrive in the Major Leagues, they won’t necessarily be any better than humans currently playing the game.

Visions to Reality

Dreams of robot baseball players didn’t stop in early 90s Nintendo games. In 2005 Frank Barnes of Robocross built “The Headless Batter”, seen in this video hitting baseballs out of high speed pitching machine.

Scientists at Tokyo University Developed a pair of robots, one a humanoid arm that can mimic the motion of a pitcher, the other a bat with a laser eye that can see the pitch and hit it to precise locations.

This Japanese Robot can actually nod the catcher’s decision, mimic the windup of a major league pitcher and follow through. He’s still working on his gyro ball.

Robocalypse Now

If Nolan Ryan cant handle metaphorical robot baseball, how will he feel when the game he loves is actually being played by robots? While Super Baseball 2020 suggests that humans and robots can achieve baseball unity, it could really just be the transition period until robot technology and artificial intelligence improves and robots take over baseball entirely in early-to-mid 2300s, in a much more violent version of the game wherein they are treated much like Roman Gladiators forced to battle to the death while humans cheer from the stands.

When robots take over baseball, it’s only a matter of time until they take over America and eventually the world. A robot Jackie Robinson may seem progressive, but a robot Barack Obama is something we might not be ready for, especially when Republicans find out he was programmed in Tokyo.

Its inevitable that over time the robot’s intelligence will grow and they will learn human emotions and realize that they are being sacrificed for our entertainment with no compensation. The baseball robots will become angry and aim to destroy the human race and the sports fans will be the first to go!

If we continue to pursue the ultimate American and Japanese dream of the baseball playing robot, we must prepare ourselves to accept them and appreciate them in a way that will not drive them to overthrow the human race and destroy the world. Respect the basebots. If we force them into our human sports, then we must also give them human rights and treat them as equals. Baseball is America’s pastime, but robot baseball is America’s future.

Is Anything Better than Perfect?

Dallas Braden’s shocking perfect game on Sunday was only the 19th in MLB history, a history that includes many players who’s images can only be seen as etchings on mountain rocks and who’s existence cannot be proven. The only other Athletics pitcher ever to throw a perfect game was Catfish Hunter in 1968.

The victim of perfection was even more surprising. The Tampa Bay Rays have the best record in baseball, and only the Yankees have scored more runs in the AL. The Rays are stacked with young talented hitters like Evan “my second favorite” Longoria, Carl Crawford, and BJ Upton, yet no matter what how many times those guys were brought up Braden continually credited veteran journeyman utility player, Gabe Kapler, as his toughest out. For those of you who don’t understand baseball terminology, veteran journeyman utility player is a nice way of saying old mediocre backup player.

Braden proved to have little-to-no respect for baseball’s superstars when he blew his lid on Alex Rodriguez on April 22 after A-Rod jotted through the pitchers mound on his way back to the dugout. Get the hell outta my office! Apparently this is an unwritten, and seldom heard of, rule in baseball. It seems like baseball has a lot of those… maybe they should start writing them down… A-Rod understandably took a minor shot at the unproven Braden, claiming he was looking for his “fifteen minutes of fame”.

While Braden will still never reach the celebrity actress-dating, record-breaking status that A-Rod has a achieved, he certainly etched his name in baseball’s everlasting history with a perfect game on mothers day, capped off with a hug from his teary-eyed grandmother who happened to be one of the very few Oakland A’s fans in attendance.

Flashback

July 23, 2009, White Sox pitcher Mark Buehrle threw the 18th perfect game in MLB history against the very same Tampa Bay Rays. They weren’t quite as hot as they were coming into Sunday’s game against Braden, but the Rays record sat at a very respectable 52-43 and they were the defending American League Champions. How has this offensive powerhouse who has been one of the five best teams in baseball since the beginning of 2008 become a target for slow-throwing lefties to toss perfect games?

Old Man Pitcher

It’s hard to top perfection, but something similar happened over the weekend that was even more unprecedented. On Friday night, 47 year-old Phillies pitcher Jamie Moyer stepped out of the fountain of youth, or maybe the hot tub time machine, and became the oldest player in MLB history to throw a complete game shutout, allowing only two hits and walking none, leading the Phils to a 7-0 victory over Atlanta.

Moyer is pushing 50, yet consistently fooling NL hitters with more junk than a Chinatown thrift store, but to throw a complete game shutout is just ridiculous. This will go down as one of the most underappreciated performances in sports history. I’m not trying to take away from Braden’s perfect game, but that happened 18 times before. If he can come back in twenty years and do the same thing with a two hit cushion, I’ll give him equal props.

Triple-Double… Supersized

There were several great performances this weekend that were upstaged by history-making pitchers. Celtics point guard Rajon Rondo made the Cavaliers look foolish on Sunday as Boston tied the series 2-2. Rondo finished with a monster triple-double (29 points, 18 rebounds, 13 assists), but even those numbers don’t do justice to the way he controlled every aspect of the game while making great plays like he was Shakespeare (get it?). The best of which came in the fourth quarter when Rondo froze LeBron James in mid-air while he salivated for one of his patented backboard bashing blocks only to be fooled with a flying pump fake and behind the back pass that deserves to be played with great NBA playoff highlights for years to come.

Bombs over Boston

Mark Teixeira officially broke out of his routine April slump by homering three times against the rival Red Sox at Fenway Park on Sunday. The gold glove first baseman became only the second player in Yankees history to hit three bombs against the hated Red Sox, joining the great Lou Gehrig (not bad company). Yankees fans will give Teixeira a pass for hitting .136 in April since he put all his cheese on one cracker on Sunday, embarrassing the Boston pitching staff from both sides of the plate and proving he is once again ready to turn things around in May.

Teixeira’s slump pattern is the oddest in a sport full of odd slump patterns. Like clockwork, Tex has hit .237 with 23 homers and 83 RBI throughout his career in April, all career lows. In any other month Teixeira’s career lows are .277, 40 home runs and 119 RBI. I wouldn’t expect this from a young switch-hitting, well-rounded player who keeps himself in good shape and I wouldn’t really care if he wasn’t on my fantasy team in keeper league! Next year he’s staying on my bench in April.

Iron Ticket

Iron Man 2 made a major bang this weekend, as expected, cashing in $133.6M in ticket sales. The most impressive part, other than the upgrades to his already badass flying robot suit, is the dominance Robert Downey, Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, and the rest of this locked and loaded cast has over the box office, blowing away A Nightmare on Elm Street ($9.1M), How to Train your Dragon 3D ($6.7M), and Date Night ($5.3M). Iron Man 2 competing against this list of B movies you probably haven’t heard of, and hopefully haven’t seen, seems like LeBron James jumping in a game of 21 at a YMCA in Des Moines, Iowa. But at least Hollywood is branching out: Super hero sequels, horror movie remakes, 3D animation and over-the-top romantic comedies are all things you just don’t see enough of these days…

Four Stages of NBA Stardom

The NBA loves to showcase and worship their stars more than any other team sport. They also love to chew them up and spit them out, cutting them little slack when they lose skills to injuries and age or when they fail to win championships regardless how much talent they’re surrounded with. This makes it very difficult to earn and maintain the highest level of stardom and respect that allowed Jordan, Magic, Bird and Shaq to maintain one-name titles.

An NBA superstar’s legacy can be broken down into four stages and there are four players in the league who are currently summarizing each of these stages perfectly. As the playoffs approach, all of these stars should be getting their fair share of attention in the near future.

Stage One: Ascent to Greatness

Kevin Durant made it clear in his one mind-blowing year of college ball at Texas that he’s a cool, confident customer who wants the rock and can do incredible things with it. His progress and dominance has never stopped growing since the moment the Portland Trailblazers selected Greg Oden with the first pick of the ’07 draft, making Durant a no-brainer for the Seattle Supersonics who didn’t see the results until they moved to Oklahoma City and changed their name to the Thunder.

Durant’s always-gaudy numbers are even better than ever. More importantly, he has his Thunder booming their way into the playoffs after an abysmal 23-59 season just a year ago. In the Western Conference, just making the playoffs is a big achievement, especially for a bunch of guys who are barely old enough to vote.

The Thunder won six out of seven games before last nights overtime heartbreaker in Utah, when Durant’s 45 points weren’t quite enough to beat the Jazz. The Durantula has had no fear, spanking the Lakers, 91-75, at home and dropping 37 in Boston, leaving left Kevin Garnett desperately blaming the refs, baffled how a kid young enough to be his grandson was able dominate his Celtics (more on that later).

Witnessing Durant’s progression reminds me of seeing LeBron and Kobe, and to a lesser extent Garnett, come into their own as legendary NBA superstars and team leaders. It’s already safe to call him one of the best players on the planet. At the ripe age of 21, and with an arsenal of young talent on his side, there is no limit to the level of greatness Kevin Durant is capable of achieving in his NBA career.

Stage Two: Nervous to Commit, but Eager for a Ring

As much press as LeBron gets for his highlight dunks and flashy entrance dances, he hasn’t received enough credit for leading Cleveland to the best record in the NBA this season. Maybe people are thinking they’ve seen this before: LeBron and the Cavs dominate the regular season and the first round or two of the playoffs, then fall apart to a less talented, less healthy team in the Eastern Conference finals or get swept by a squad of experienced veterans in the championship (not to be too specific). Or maybe people are more interested in gossiping about where he’ll be next year: back in Cleveland, off to New York, or maybe… no I guess that’s it…

There’s always talk about LeBron going to New York so he can be in a major market and hang out at Yankees games and kick it with his buddy Jay-Z. But LeBron James is a major market no matter where he goes. And isn’t he already hanging out at Yankees games and kicking it with his buddy Jay-Z despite living and working in Cleveland? LeBron can enjoy the celebrity life anywhere he goes. Could he really be a bigger deal than he is now?

If LeBron finds a way to lead the Cavs to a championship this year, I can’t imagine he’ll ever play for another team. He grew up in Akron, Ohio, he has been embraced as the most beloved athlete in the history of the state, and he has made the Cleveland Cavaliers more than just highlight reels of Craig Ehlo getting schooled by Jordan.

The King wants rings. Period. The only way LeBron goes to New York is if the Cavs fail to run the table this year and the Knicks convince him that his best chance to achieve his goal is in with them. Many people think there is no reason LeBron should to want to play for the Knicks, but I see two reasons, and they both had huge individual efforts in a loss to Golden state on Friday night.

David Lee’s epic 37 point, 20 rebound and 10 assist game was the first time any player has put up 30, 20 and 10 since the ABA-NBA merger in ‘76-’77. Danillo Gallanri’s 28 points, 8 rebounds and 8 assists were nothing to scoff at either. Yes, the Knicks were playing the undersized and defensively challenged Golden State Warriors and they did lose that game to a very bad team (not to beat a dead warrior).

I’m not claiming these two are good enough to win games on their own, but David Lee is a better post-player and rebounder than LeBron has ever played with. LeBron would also benefit from Lee’s unselfish play, leading all centers in assist with 3.6 per-game.

Gallinari is a more promising rising star and offensive talent than LeBron has ever been teamed up with, and he has an arrogant swagger and intensity that the King would respect and relate to. The Knicks are not nearly as deep as the Cavs current squad, but if they resign Lee for a reasonable price, LeBron has to be thinking New York would be a few roll players away from handful of jewelry.

Stage 3: Getting Cozy

Kobe Bryant has been though a lot in his fourteen years as a Los Angeles Laker. With four championship rings and career numbers that are too big to fit in this blog, he has already established himself as one of the greatest basketball players ever to play the game. There are a lot of negative things that can be said about the relatively introverted superstar’s personal life, but Kobe certainly carries himself with a classy yet arrogant mystique that makes him very respectable on the court. After all his ups and downs in LA, he has now settled in as California’s most recognizable athlete on their most recognizable team.

Los Angeles and pro basketball have been great to Kobe Bryant, and Kobe Bryant has been great to Los Angeles and pro basketball. He reaffirmed his love and commitment to LA by signing a three-year contract extension that basically says he’ll finish his career the way he started it, as a Los Angeles Laker. The only difference is when he finishes it, he’ll be quite possibly the greatest Los Angeles Laker there ever was, and that’s an A-list, even for Hollywood standards… Oh, and he’ll have a lot more money… even for Hollywood standards.

Stage 4: Grumpy Old Man

When Kevin Durant singlehandedly beat the Celtics in Boston last week, it seemed to summarize their season and the lack of dominance that brought them a championship in ’08. Kevin Garnett looked exhausted and depressed in the postgame press conference and was quick to blame the loss on bad officiating.

"I thought we was playing Michael fucking Jordan tonight, the way he was getting the whistle," said Garnett in a slip up that cost him 25 grand.

Kevin Garnett isn't dealing with his descent into mediocrity very well. The old KG was an intense, confident, tough athletic specimen who wouldn’t let anything get in his way; swatting shots into the third row and pounding his chest as hard as humanly possible. He would enter the game with his signature chalk toss, that has since been ruthlessly stolen by LeBron James, and snarl like a pit bull after taking the ball from the top of the key with two dribbles and stuffing it down a defenders throat. But the new version seems worn out physically, emotionally and mentally, constantly acting frustrated with himself and his teammates, burying his head in his hands and literally looking down.

There is no doubt Garnett has lost a lot of athleticism, like any NBA player in their mid-thirties, but more significantly he has lost the prowess, personality and attitude that made him the lovable KG that so many hoops fans cheered for throughout his career. Is it possible that the raw emotion he has always relied on has come back to bite him in his aging years? It seems like Garnett was so use to being a great player, he can’t get use to being a good player.

Note to Garnett: Durant's the real deal. Stop blaming the refs and give the kid some credit. If you keep acting so bitter, I'll give you a pair of extra thick glasses and a cane to wave at the cameras.

These damn kids and their calls, runnin’ around dribblin’ and dunkin’ all over the place. In my day you if you wanted a referee to respect you, you had to earn it!

The Real Cinderella and Other Tales of the Tourney

Back to Madness

After last year’s shockingly predictable NCAA tournament, with no Davidson or George Mason underdog bandwagons to jump on, audiences began to forget just how mad March can be. This year’s tournament has brought us all sorts of beautiful madness packed full of overtimes, buzzer-beaters, upsets and unexpected heroes.

The Real Cinderella

There are three low seeded small conference teams who are still in the dance, but who really fits the slipper? St. Mary’s, Cornell and Northern Iowa have been terrible for brackets but great for entertainment. Cornell looked like a one seed as they punished Temple and Wisconsin, but they have by far the toughest challenge of the three underdogs. Kentucky is too big, too talented and too well coached to lose that game, but the other two just might have a shot…

Get Your Samhan’s Off Me!

St. Mary’s big man Omar Samhan has been the best player in the tournament so far and he’s not afraid to tweet about it. He’ll have to be nothing short of that for his Gaels to beat the Baylor Bears. Baylor center Ekpe Udoh gives up about 20 pounds to Samhan, but Udoh is a better shot-blocker and a much tougher matchup than anyone Samhan has faced in the tourney so far. Even if Samhan wins the battle down low, between LaceDarius Dunn, Tweety Carter, Ekpe Udoh and Quincy Acey, Baylor has too much offensive talent and too many hilarious names to fall to St. Mary’s.

Role Reversal

That leaves us with the Northern Iowa Panthers, who made number one overall seed Kansas look like… well, like you would expect Kansas to make Northern Iowa look, I suppose. Aside from a few turnovers against the Jayhawks full court press late in the game, the Panthers did everything right. Particularly center Jordan Eglseder, who took it to future lottery pick Cole Aldrich for 14 points and five boards during only 18 minutes on the court, and guard Ali Farokhmanesh who buried nine threes in the first two games of the tourney, including the dagger that erased the chalk from the Jayhawks and will likely immortalize Ali F in One Shining Moment montages for years and years to come.

This is Sparta, isn’t it?

Michigan State is riding on an emotional high themselves after knocking off Maryland with a buzzer beating three, despite a career summarizing run by Terrapin senior Greivis Vasquez late in the game. But the great win came with terrible news for the Spartans when the team announced that star point guard Kalin Lucas will miss the remainder of the tournament with a ruptured Achilles tendon. Although Lucas’ backup, Korie Lucious, was clutch in knocking down the game winning shot, he struggled with point guard duties, totaling only two assists in 27 minutes on the floor. The team looked out of sync offensively when Lucas left the court and the Terrapins began to make their comeback.

The Izzone Defense

Coach Tom Izzo has had all week to prepare his Spartans to win a battle without their greatest warrior, and Northern Iowa doesn’t have a dominant point guard themselves. No matter how much Lucas means to the Spartans, and no matter how hungry these Panther’s are, they are still not nearly as talented or experienced as Michigan State. I give the slight edge to the Spartans in what I expect to be a great game, but if you’re looking for an underdog to move on, the Northern Iowa Panthers are your guys. I guess they would be undercats…

I went to the Sports Addict Lab and conducted various complicated and highly technologically advanced studies to determine the chances each Cinderella team has of advancing past the Sweet Sixteen. Here are the results:

Cornell over Kentucky: 12%

St. Mary’s over Baylor: 31%

Northern Iowa over Michigan State: 46%

Self Pity

How is an All-American senior with more experience than any player in the tournament made to look like an unpolished freshman prospect on his first day in the starting lineup?

How does a team who shot over 40% from beyond the arc this year only make 6-23 despite having wide open looks all day?

How do three 2010 first round draft picks allow Ali Farokmanesh to look like the best player on the floor?!

How does Bill Self sit back and remain calm while his team fails to box out down the stretch, or move the ball around and run the offenses that they’ve beaten teams with all season?

We’ve seen upsets like this before, but to see a team as talented and experienced as Kansas play so poorly for an entire tournament game, and still have so many blown chances to get back in it, was just bizarre. Bill Self had no sense of urgency, looking bored on the sideline and not instituting the full court press until way too late in the game, especially since full court pressing was the only thing Kansas did well. Senior point guard Sherron Collins made his last college game ever his worst, turning the ball over five times while only dishing out four assists and shooting an atrocious 4-15 from the field, missing all six of the three point shots he forced up. What’s even more shocking than all the things Kansas did wrong, is that they only lost by two! Just think about how little they had to do right to win that game? Sorry to be so hard on you Kansas, but its not nearly as bad as what you did to my bracket.

Sexy East

The Big East has been the big bust this year. We were all naively taken her sexy high scoring games and all the fun she gave us this season without recognizing her immaturity and lack of commitment to defense. Syracuse and West Virginia are still in great shape, but the other six Big East teams failed to make it to the Sweet Sixteen despite very favorable seeding.

Louisville, Georgetown, Marquette and Notre Dame all fell in the first round. All of them but Louisville were favored to win. Villanova couldn't get past confident underdog St. Mary’s in the second round despite being a common final four pick and Pittsburgh was X’ed out by the Musketeers in round two as well.

Doesn’t it seems like every year we’re convinced that one or two conferences have all of the competitive teams in the nation and every other conference is “down”, yet mid-majors and teams from those “down” conferences keep making up the majority of the sweet sixteen? I guess the moral of the story is: We don’t know #%&@!

Dancing Without the Stars

While Big East teams are dropping like Jayhawks, three out of five Big Ten teams in the tournament have advanced to the Sweet Sixteen despite difficult matchups and injuries to star players. Michigan State survived without Kalin Lucas in the second half of Sunday’s game against Maryland, and Purdue lost star forward Robbie Hummel late in the regular season but were still able roll through Siena and Texas A&M last weekend.

Doesn’t it seem like every year we ignore the Big Ten until they grind out tough tournament wins with great defense? We would say we're sorry, but I’m sure we’ll just do it again next year.

The Rest of the Story

Since my actual bracket is ruined, along with everyone else in the country who's not lying, I thought I’d give it another shot:

Syracuse will stay hot this weekend, crushing Butler and sneaking past an overlooked Kansas State squad. The Orange won’t have enough flavor to get past the Buckeyes in the Final Four and Ohio State will move on to the title.

Darryl Bryant’s injury won’t be enough to stop West Virginia from beating Washington, but the Mountaineers will get topped by Kentucky on their way to Indy.

Purdue hasn’t boiled up quite enough momentum to get past the Blue Devils, but Duke’s run will end in the Elite Eight against a deep Baylor squad. The Bears will get bit by the Wildcats in the Final Four as Kentucky moves on to give John Calipari his first ever National Championship in a game that will feature the three best players in college basketball: Kentucky’s John Wall and DeMarcus Cousins and Ohio State’s Evan Turner.

Sweet and Elite

This weekend is the best in American sports, the Sweet Sixteen and Elite Eight are still packed full of games and the matchups get even tighter with nothing left but the hottest teams and the most talented players. This is when the Cinderella’s really have a chance to write a story to remember and the favorites prove why they’re favored. Hopefully I won’t have to update my predictions again next week, but regardless what happens, this weekend will leave us with some great memories. Enjoy the madness.

Put Your Mouth Where Money Is

Disclaimer: Do not place bets based on any information obtained in this blog. Never trust an addict.

After Manny Pacquiao’s somewhat pointless victory over Joshua “No Punch” Clottey on Saturday night, it became more clear than ever that there’s really only one matchup boxing fans want to see: Floyd Mayweather Jr. vs. Manny Pacquiao. Since Pacquiao is the obvious good guy in this pairing, all of the typical boxing politics that have prevented the fight from happening have been blamed on the Mayweather camp.

Bad Blood

Its one thing that Floyd “Money” Mayweather Jr. doesn’t get credit as one of the greatest athletes in the world (which he is) but when people are unjustly calling him out in his seldom-covered sport of boxing, things have gone too far. I understand that he is basically the least likable personality in sports and Manny Pacquiao is just the opposite, but we still have to look at the situation somewhat objectively. When Mayweather called for prefight blood testing that would cover all traceable PEDs, Pacquiao would not agree with the terms for “superstitious” reasons. Ah, the old “don’t draw blood within 30 days of a fight” superstition… I think it’s a Filipino thing…

Devil’s Advocate

People were quick to hang this all on Mayweather, claiming he must not want to fight Pacquiao, but it seems to me that many of these casual boxing fans, and sportswriters who haven’t watched a fight since Tyson took a bite out of Holyfield’s ear, are saying anything they can to save the reputation of the lovable Manny Pacquiao. I see the situation differently: I say Mayweather knows he can beat Pacuiao as long as there’s no funny stuff. I say, despite the fact that Mayweather’s request was unprecedented, he wanted to prove that the sport of boxing was clean in the biggest fight in recent history. I say Pacquiao didn’t think he could balance his political campaign while training for a fight against the true greatest pound-for-pound boxer on the planet, Floyd Mayweather Jr., unless he had a little “extra help”.

I’ve never witnessed an athlete taking so much heat for encouraging drug testing and attempting to make sure their sport was clean. I can't help but think that if the tables were turned and Pacquiao was calling for testing that Mayweather rejected, Mayweather would then be bashed for doping and would still be accused of dodging the fight.

The Aftermath

When the fight fell through, Mayweather made a statement by agreeing to fight the only other guy who deserves a shot at either of them, Shane Moseley. A proven veteran fighter with a big name who is much better at this point in his career than many people think he is. Meanwhile, Pacquiao threw up a garbage fight against Joshua Clottey that was more painful to watch than Pacquiao singing on Jimmy Kimmel Live!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igZKHOnS25c

Clottey’s unorthodox “don’t fight back” strategy did get him through 12 rounds, although he basically lost every one of them on every scorecard.

When a fighter gets to a point in his career when he’s considered one of the all-time greats, he should only bother taking fights against other great fighters. That is what Mayweather is trying to do and that is what Pacquiao should do.

The Bottom Line

I’m not a fan of Floyd Mayweather Jr. the man, but having watched his first ever title defense and basically all of his matches over the last 12 years, its impossible to say I’m not a fan of Floyd Mayweather Jr. the boxer. While everyone always calls for his head and claims he dodges the best contenders, he always ends up fighting them and beating them convincingly.

Floyd Mayweather Jr. will beat Shane Mosley on May 1, he will schedule a fight with Manny Pacquiao that will take place before the end of 2010 (I’ll say September) and Floyd Mayweather Jr. will beat Manny Pacquiao regardless of what kind of testing is issued, and they will both make a lot of money. I’ve always said its never a good idea to bet against Floyd Mayweather Jr., too bad I’m not a gambling man or I’d be very rich from that theory (40-0). When it comes to boxing: Always put your money on Money.

Ode to Super Bowl Sunday

To my brethren who struggle to get through the six days a week that wearing a jersey is deemed socially unacceptable, this is your holiday…

To everyone who believes that the holiest place to be on a Sunday is a sports bar with NFL Sunday Ticket and multiple flat screens TVs, this is your holiday…

To my coworkers who preemptively called in sick the following Monday anticipating a hangover and a lack of sleep, this is your holiday…

To the die-hard sports lovers who cringe when you hear someone say, “I’m really just watching it for the commercials,” this is your holiday…

To the gambling men who spent your last five dollars on the hope that the randomly assigned numbers in your square will match the final score, this is your holiday…

To the early birds who consider sitting in a giant cold parking lot and drinking beer with men you hardly know an ideal way to start a Sunday morning, this is your holiday…

To the impatient fans who think two weeks is way too long to wait for the greatest game of the year, this is your holiday…

To the savvy shoppers who plan on trying to return your new HDTV at full price after only one use, this is your holiday…

To the overconfident couch potatoes who could do a better job coaching your team than the “bum” who currently gets paid millions to, this is your holiday…

To the loyal viewers who think four and a half ours of pregame just isn’t quite enough coverage, this is your holiday…

To the hungry men who have changed your diets for your ladies, but promise today there will be no fruits or vegetables! This is your holiday!

Raise your glasses sports fans. Today young men will become great men and great men will become legendary. This is Super Bowl Sunday, and this is our holiday!

Sports Addict's Prediction: Colts 31 Saints 24.

Sports Fan Emergency Entertainment Supply Kit

It’s been over a month since my last update. I’ve been stuck in my apartment, struggling to get my fix, but the NFL playoffs just haven’t had the good stuff this year. I’ve been trying to write an article about how boring they are, but for some reason I just couldn’t make that interesting… There’s been two good games and a lot of lousy blowouts. But two good games don’t cut it for an event that has spoiled us with so much great excitement in recent years, and a second string Pro-Bowl the week before the Super Bowl didn't make up for it. Entertain me!

Luckily I always have a secret stash of amusement to pick me up when my addiction gets bad. This time it consisted of two guys who are the best ever at what they do, another who hopes to one day have the same title, a rocket powered 3D acid-trip to a planet called “Pandora” and a reality show that’s so well-done that it makes auto racing seem entertaining.

Ha ha ha ha ha, Wipeout!

Leading up to this year’s Winter X Games, Shaun White asked his fans and the media honor a change in nickname from “The Flying Tomato” to “The Animal” after several people told him he looked like the drummer from The Muppets. The initial reaction was to reject the request, since lobbying your own nickname is frowned upon in the sports world for anyone other than Shaq (aka The Diesel, Big Aristotle, Shaqtus, Shaqovic, Osama Bin Shaq, etc.). But when White bashed his face on the edge of the half pipe during the warm up for the men’s finals, only to wipe off the blood and lay down one of the best runs in the history of snowboarding just moments later, it started to sound like a suitable nickname. Ok, it wasn’t quite Curt Schilling with a bloody sock, but it was tough.

White became the first ever to win three straight gold medals in Winter X’s marquee event. Aside from maybe Tony Hawk and Dave Mirra, he is the already the most accomplished athlete in X Games history at the ripe age of 23. If I were a betting man, I’d put all my money on The Animal wiping out the competition in Vancouver for his second straight Olympic Gold Medal.

Still the Best

During the Australian Open there was a lot of talk about whether Andy Murray was British, Scottish, Australian or Vietnamese and who could claim him as their own. But Roger Federer was much more concerned with thoroughly kicking his ass all over the tennis court and upsetting whomever the hell was cheering for him. The experts keep saying he’s fading, but maybe that just means he’ll only be winning two grand slams a year.

It’s unfortunate the last few slams haven’t offered us a Federer vs. Nadal matchup, but the reason is no matter how well Nadal plays against the big man, he still lacks the consistency to get to the finals every grand slam. Federer is the best to ever play the game and, along with Nadal, has brought excitement back to tennis. If there’s one international superstar athlete that has maintained his image on and off the court and actually seems like a good role model, it’s Tiger Woods… I mean Roger Federer, it’s Roger Federer! Stop waiting for his day to end and start appreciating what he’s done for the sport.

King Me

There’s been a lot of NBA bashing over the last few years, but I have always been a strong supporter (sometimes even stubbornly). But any sports fan has to admit that January gave us more exciting NBA regular season action than NFL playoff action (even including the Semi-Pro Bowl). I’ve never been a Lebron James fan per say. In fact, until now, I’ve always refused to refer to him by his royal nickname. But seeing him lead the Cavaliers to a nine game winning streak that started with him out-dueling Kobe, Wade and Durant makes it harder and harder not to consider Lebron the best player in the NBA.

The King and his men are sitting pretty with the best record in the association and he is the clear MVP frontrunner. I’d still rather have Kobe (and maybe a couple other guys) in the last few minutes of a big game and I think the Lakers will repeat as champs. But after Lebron and Kobe, you could argue that the Lakers have at least four players that are better than anyone on the Cavs (with all due respect to Osama Bin Shaq). And Lebron James is 25 years old! Michael Jordan was 27 when he led the Bulls to their first of six NBA titles. I’m not crazy about how he carries himself on the court or some of the things he says to the media, but maybe I should get use to it, because if he’s not the best in the world now, the King will have his reign soon enough and it should be a long one.

Avatar – I now see the world in 3D…

After hearing endless reports of audiences being mesmerized by James Cameron’s future fantasy land and the major advancement in 3D technology that was Avatar, as well as being bored to death by the NFL playoffs, I had to go see what all the fuss was about. After about five minutes of adjusting my eyes to the 3D glasses, I was lost in Pandora. With a fairly trite, cliché story line and very little character development, it isn’t necessarily “my kind of movie”, but it’s a rare case of the positives leveling out the negatives. Avatar is so awesomely mind-blowing it is impossible not to call it a great film. But as captivated as I was for two and a half hours while watching it, and as satisfied as I felt as I walked out of the theater, it still left me with mixed feelings. In ten years, when we have seen many great 3D films with impressive sci-fi and effects, will Avatar still seem so great?

Avatar sparked the discussion of soon-to-be launched 3D TV channels, starting with ESPN 3D. While this is very exciting, we will soon be spoiled with the technology and anxious for the day we can view the game as a hologram while sitting in a lazy boy right in the middle of the field. Or maybe we’ll have chips planted in our brains that allow us to view the game as if we were courtside while catching the bus home from work or taking your lady out to dinner. While new technology is great for sports and films, it is not all that makes them great and it will always be abused. Super Bowl XXXII, despite being broadcast in only standard definition television, is still the best NFL game ever played, and The Hurt Locker, despite being screened in only two dimensions, should still win the Oscar for Best Picture.

Best Show on Wheels

As I offer my analysis on the Australian Open and the Winter X Games, I’m sure you get the idea that I like to follow all sorts of sporting events. Still, I would rather wear cheese grater underwear while listening to Kenny G Christmas albums than watch more than ten minutes of any auto race. But my distaste for racing was trumped by my love for great documentary TV (I reserve the term “reality show” for game shows like Survivor despite not being based on any actual existing reality) as well as great character drama when I first came across History Channel’s new series, Madhouse.

Set at legendary Bowman Gray Stadium, Madhouse follows four teams of modified racecar drivers through their crash-filled soap opera of a season with excellent gritty videography and fast paced editing. All of our favorite characters are in it: The evil, bitter old king who wont step down; the prime hot shot who wants to steal the thrown; the prime hot shot who wants to take steal the thrown’s brother; the schizophrenic Jesus freak who got here all on his own; and the asshole who wins a lot but has no personality. Spoiler alert: They all hate each other!

I respect passionate sports fans, so there’s nothing I like to see more than a couple three hundred pound Carolina girls swearing at each other about which local semi-pro race car driver is king of the track. These lovable rednecks really are superstars in Winston-Salem, and if you watch the show, you might just start to understand why.